Cupboard Beauty: Lemon

After a recent stint on the Lemonade Diet which had been shortened by my lack of motivation, I found myself with a refrigerator full of lemons and not a clue as to what to do with them. Thoughts of gently squeezing the zest of a lemon into buckets of homemade cleaner crossed my mind but let’s be real -I am no Martha. Then I ran into the idea of using lemon as a facial cleanser.

Yes, that’s right; I’m using lemons on my face. Now this took a lot of trial and ERROR. My first experience I came very close to near loss of eye sight – note to you: lemon juice apparently stings. 

After a failed attempt I tried again because apparently after much research I found that lemons have been a best kept beauty secret. 

Lemon is full of Vitamin C, that you know. Vitamin C, not only used to ward off colds, is the key component in Collagen (you know that ingredient used to keep our old sagging skin from touching the floor).  So consuming a lot of Vitamin C means that your skin will be firm and strong, scars will begin to vanish, and old tarnished skin will begin to heal again. Also known for its ability to fight off wrinkles and fine lines.

I will repeat: Vitamin C helps prevent wrinkles & sagging skin.

Ways to use lemon for beauty:

1. Squeeze a little into your foods be it a salad (for a low Cal salad dressing) or into your drink.
2.  Cut a piece of lemon and use it to scrub your face. I do this in the shower. Use the chunk of lemon once and toss it after. Note there may be some burning and redness as lemon juice is a natural astringent so do not be scared.
3. Use the lemon juice as an astringent before bed or mix the lemon juice with water and use in the morning. 
4.   Try Dr.Oz’s recipe for a Lemon Facial Cleanser.

Now not only will consuming lemon help enhance your beauty but it has also been known to help with weight loss, digestion, fight off colds and UTI’s, along with relieving stress. 

You can thank me later.

Boobie Tricks

Big boobies, we all want them but not all of us are fortunate enough to have them. 

I am a member of the "itty bitty titty committee" and still have $9,999.99 left to save up towards my breast augmentation. So until that day Jenna Marbles is helping me out with a few tricks. 

“There is no shame in my game”

-Jenna Marbles

Below is her video tutorial titled "How to Trick People into Thinking You Have Big Boobs," it will change your life. Feel free to fast forward to the 7 minute mark which is where she actually starts the tutorial.

Let's Recap.

What we need:

 

Please note that Jenna uses safety pins to tie her bra straps back but do yourself a favor and invest in a razorback clip. A razorback clip doesn't cost more than $10 and you won't have to worry about injuries. 

Hope you enjoyed these tips!

Courtesy of your newly big breasted blogger :)

Affirmations

So apparently life does not always work out as planned. Growing up we engross ourselves in fantasy novels, reality television and the false idea that great things happen to those who work hard. Now don’t get me wrong, I still believe that greatness can only be attained through hard work, but I thought this would all happen faster. 

Womp Womp.

Anyhow before you get the impression that this post is one which is filled with depression and written on a keyboard drenched in tears, don’t! This post is about the little things that have kept me going during this rough patch. Let’s face it after interviewing at numerous places, harassing the marketing population in New York City and still finding myself unemployed, all of this rejection tends to be hard on the soul.

During my last interview I found myself in an awkward place. I was no longer that confident girl who believed in her abilities. I was sitting there trying to convince an HR girl that I was capable of a job that I myself didn’t even believe I was qualified for. That has to change! If I am ever going to get a great job, sit shoulder-to-shoulder with game changers, if I ever going to be responsible for marketing campaigns that leave people wanting more –I need to start doing AFFIRMATIONS.

An affirmation in the simplest form is:

Sometimes you just have to remind yourself what others are having a little difficulty seeing.

So I pledge to take just a couple of minutes a day to tell myself “yes, I am a rock star. I am a creative genius. I do not have a job yet because people in HR are fools. I am beautiful. And yes, sexy men want me. GODDAMNIT!!!!”

I feel better already J

For an in-depth look at affirmations click here 

Cleansing 101

I recently went vegan again after a 15 year vegetarian stint and a full blown meat eating adventure.

So now here I am after having started a love affair with pork, tried about every chicken option on the McDonald's menu and I am ready to get healthy again.  It was hard for my body to adapt from going to not eating meat for so long to automatically devouring a bacon cheeseburger so I decided to simply go back to my roots.

In order to make that transition easier I was advised to do a cleanse.

Cleansing for those of you who have never heard is a detox for your body. People cleanse to get rid of toxins in their body. Not to mention it is a great way to jumpstart a healthy lifestyle. Cleansing has been a controversial topic.  Many believe that “cleansing” is just another extreme diet fad but when done for the right reasons cleansing can have wonderful results.

Think of doing a cleanse like using paint primer, some don’t think it’s necessary but it is a hell of a lot easier to get to the finished result on a clean canvas.

Some of my favorite cleanses are:

The Master Cleanse

Famous for giving Beyonce the “irreplaceable” body.

The Master Cleanse is a hot craze in Hollywood and is also one of my favorite cleanses –did I mention it was hard as hell?

The Recipe: 

2 tablespoons lemon or lime juice

2 tablespoons of genuine maple syrup (make sure it is not maple-flavored syrup)

1/10^th teaspoon of cayenne pepper 

8 ounces of water.

The Idea:

You replace meals with the “lemonade.” You are supposed to drink a lot of it and you will not be hungry, and the world will be a better place –something like that. The book says that you can do the diet under medical supervision for up to 27 days --Yeah right. The longest I’ve only done it for is 10 days and to be completely honest I got so moody I may have lost a friend.

The Reality:

I’ve done this diet many times and by now I have this down to an art. For the most part, if you drink enough of the drink you don’t really get hungry but after day three I miss chewing.

Water/Veggies/Fruit Cleanse

Just like it reads you eat veggies and fruits, trying to keep them raw and in their purest form, and drink only water.

The Recipe:

There are some veggies that are better than others for this diet so you should do your research. . Some recommend that you limit your intake to simply spinach, turnip greens, watermelon, apples and artichoke.

The Idea:

If using this cleanse as a colon cleanser it is advised that you do this for up to 4 weeks.

The Reality:

Great cleanse for beginners. However, I am not a huge fan. A month of turnip greens and water –yum.

Watermelon cleanse

A family friend of ours, Barbara Wellbeloved, turned us on to this cleanse.

The Recipe:

Watermelon and water.

The Idea:

This is a great summer diet and is good to do for a day or two, refreshing and delicious.

Store bought cleanses

Of course there are tons of cleanses and detoxes that you can buy either from vitamin shops, like GNC, whole foods or even off of the internet. My mom has done a few and loves them. So if you feel like a diet based on lemonade or watermelon is not for you this may be a great alternative.



Chivalry's not dead, it's just sleeping

Back when Knights and chivalry were rampant, the rules of dating for a lady were very clear. You stay at home, bake a cake and wait for your gentlemen callers. You act like a dainty little thing, never stepping out of the box and you too can marry your prince. But today the lines are a little blurred and ladies everywhere have no one to turn to but the one and only Patti Stanger.

               

You know the host of the oh-so addicting “Millionaire Matchmaker.” She’s a dating genius, and unlike most women who sit back and whine about chivalry being dead Patti exclaims that the dammed thing is just sleeping. To ensure that her clients, and the people she sets up with them, get the best of the dating world Patti has come up with her own set of guidelines for dating.

 Why should you believe Patti, A woman who has made her living off of setting up sugar daddies with their mates? First of all because Patti doesn’t feed into the world of the 50 year-old man with the 20-year-old eye candy. Patti slaps these men into reality, and her guidelines are set up to ensure that you find love. The lady has got a 99% success rate, so trust her!

Patti’s Rules for L.O.V.E.

Reminding us how to act like a lady

The following rules were taken from an interview with Patti on the Oprah Winfrey Show

1. Thou Shall Return Calls in a Timely Manner
"Always return a potential love interest's call within 48 hours during the week (72 hours over the weekend). Be courteous...you're not living in the movie Swingers where you're supposed to wait X amount of days to call back. Busy men don't like rude girls—and there's plenty of fish in the sea besides you!"

2. Thou Shall Honor Your Commitments
"Believe it or not, it's hard for a guy to ask a girl out—online or in person. Don't be a flake. If you make plans, keep them. Don't bigger, better deal it! I don't care if it's George Clooney calling at the last minute—keep your plans! If you weren't interested in him, you should have never agreed to go out. "

3. Thou Shall Let the Man Take the Lead
"I know it sounds old-fashioned, but it's embedded in their DNA—men need to feel like the hunter. Let him call you first. Let him ask you out. If he's shy, invite him to a party—but then let him request the true first date from you! Be the hunted!"

4. Thou Shall Leave History in the Past
"That means...no ex talk! You do not want your guy picturing you having sex with someone else. That also means no baggage dumping, previous health issue talk or discussing any skeletons in your closet. Once you're in that committed relationship, well, that's another story."

5. Thou Shall Be Focused and Positive
"Be engaging. Answer his questions with energy and genuine enthusiasm. Keep your attention on him—not the hot waiter. Ask questions. Banter (if you can). Listen with eye contact. Make it a conversation—the two of you talking back and forth—not interviewing. Think a pingpong match!"

6. Thou Shalt Not Drink Too Much
"I know it's tempting to have a few glasses of wine to relax before or during a date (especially a first one), but keep it at a two-drink maximum. Keep your wits—you need them! Stay clear and focused. Face it, being drunk and slurring your words just isn't attractive."

7. Thou Shalt Not be a Gold Digger
"Do not ever ask for anything of monetary value. He is your potential soul mate, not your bank. If he offers to give you something—fine. But never accept cash. He may feel like a big guy paying off your credit card bill or paying your rent, but in the end he'll just end up feeling like he's paying for your affection. "

8. Thou Shall Act Like a Lady
"Be polite. Say please and thank you. Don't cuss. Don't sit with your legs spread open like a dude. Most men want their women to be refined and courteous. Which also means don't keep them waiting while you're doing your hair and makeup! It gives the impression you just don't care about his time or schedule...and that's just not ladylike. "

9. Thou Shall Show Sincere Appreciation and Interest
"Men like compliments just like you do. Remember that. Also remember the 4:1 Rule—once he takes you out four times, do something nice for him! Whether it's making him dinner, baking him cookies or whatever you can. It shows you care and that you're trying too. "

10. Thou Shalt Not Give Nookie on the First Date
"Kissing and hugging, that's fine. But nothing else. Take it slow, get into a relationship first—one that's real and asked, not assumed. I don't care how many drinks are involved. Giving each other sexual favors before a relationship is asking for there not to be one. No sex before monogamy. "

11. Thou Shall Break the Text Habit
"You're not in high school, so stop passing notes. If you do, he may actually call you. Remember, a woman falls in love between her ears, not her eyes! And while you're at it, step away from the computer. Get out of the chat zone and into reality. If you stop IMing so quickly, he (again) might just call you."

the art of being a dame

I came across these photographs taken by photographer Katie Lee which depict various old "lady" says. I thought they were fun so here they are followed by the caption found on Lee's flicker album:

a lady never leaves her home at night without a proper escort.

a lady always keeps her feet planted firmly on the ground.

a lady always wears white gloves on Sunday.

a lady never loses her temper.

a lady always uses the proper eating utensils. 

a lady sips never slurps.

a lady always sits with her legs crossed at the ankles.

and she Never slouches...

a lady glides gracefully across the room...

...always acutely aware of her surroundings.

a lady always knows her place... 

a lady never, Ever rests her elbows on the table.

a lady never cries over spilt milk

a lady always dresses for her body type...

...and never wears revealing clothing

a lady always practices good posture.

a lady always leaves one third of her food on her plate

a lady always keeps herself informed of popular music and plays...

...appearing cultured expands a lady's knowledge and interests, while opening doors to stimulating conversations with gentleman callers.

a lady always does whatever it takes to be a good host...

...and knows how to keep her guests entertained.

a lady always does her morning stretches...

...to help maintain a healthy body and a quiet mind.

a lady always maintains complete composure...

...even in the most chaotic situations.

Are you gelling?

I love a good manicure and pedicure.  So much in fact that if I missed your class last week it was probably because I decided a trip to the nail salon would be more appropriate and deserving. 

The massage, the pretty colors, the endless possibilities of patterns and designs –it’s a relaxation station. But the one thing that can put a damper on this great experience, a chipped nail.

Let’s face it, nothing says I don’t care about myself/ I am homeless more than sloppy, chipped nails. But one day I heard about gel manicures (the chip-free guaranteed polish) and my life changed forever.

So I hurried along to my nearest nail place, picked myself a gel color and bam! I was ready. I sat there gitty, anxious and overall excited for this manicure, which felt more like a science experiment than a manicure, to end. After inserting my nails in and out of UV lamps I had my finished product, a nice, thick, instantly dry manicure. MAGIC!

For $25 I thought it was worth it, I mean the lady promised it would remain like this for up to three weeks (with the exception of nail growth, it would be perfect).

But there I was a week later, with a hand full of chipped nails. The little manicure lady had lied!
But I decided to give them one more chance. This time I went to a nicer nail salon, and forked over an extra $5, but it was worth it. It has now been a week and 4 days and my nails are still chip free.  

So in-case you are wondering whether or not to give gel manicures a try, I have composed a Pros and Cons list to help you.

Pros:

1. Zero drying time. There’s a funky UV light that dries those puppies up making sure your nails are smudge free.

2. The finish is never dull and always a nice thick layer, even a week later.

3. PERFECT for getting before a vacation, or just need a fabulous manicure or pedicure.

        Cons:

1. 1. If you decided you want to remove your manicure, you need to soak your nails in acetone or buff the gel polish off. Peeling it off can remove the top layer of your nail (trust me on that one, it has been personally tested).

2. 2. The price. Ranging anywhere from $25 to $40 these manicures can be expensive. (Remember it lasts up to three weeks so this isn’t a weekly expense).

3. 3.Time. It takes a little bit longer than a regular manicure, maybe 10 minutes.

4. 4. Options. The colors available aren’t as varied as regular polished, but I guess that also depends on the salon you go to .

Also, while doing research I ran into some concerns about the UV lamp and the possibilities of causing aging or the risks of skin cancer. Click here for more information on that.

Here is a great video I found that takes you through the gel manicure process: